Slice of Life

just now i saw him………i miss him……few days din see him….i alwes thinking of him…..i hope i can do revision together wit him again…i miss tat moment…i hope i can keep acc him for the whole exam period……i miss u, cheeky…..i wan the moment that we used to be…i wan to see u studying together..motivate me…and u even ask for notes fr me….and u even like to compare wit my results….u dun even lose to me..it makes me feel tat u care and meant it so much…….act do u know tat i still love u? do u know this? at genting, i really wanna ask u to acc me to go for a walk together,….i wanna hug u….i oso wanna kiss u…take pic wit u……i wanna talk to u………..i wanna do many mnay things wit u….act, i m vry sorry….so sorry…..act edward and me really dun have anything…but i dunno y edward did this tat day..act i m so scare…i scare u angry…i scare u jealous….i scare u angry until dun wana bother me…..i really scare…act  i did reject edward arm…but he still push me down….i cant do anything…i really hope tat the person sleep beside me is u…so tat i can get closer to…….i m really sorry….i didnt mean to…i know u act hate i doin this….u mind it…i know..i can sense it..but y dun u tell me….y dun u tell me the truth..act i m no longer the last time me…i have change a lot…..i wanna to be the type of girl tat u like…..but changing make me feel tired….i keep trying to fit myself into u…..and oso keep waiting for ur reaction…but y u keep inside…..i know u still likes me…i know it….y do u dun give us a chance…a chance for me?i love u 

ytd nite…we go to celebrate cy birthday…i feel so sad…cheeky bring a girl along…i have lots of question in my mind…who is this girl?gf?haih………..i heard he went to hulu langat b4 he came here…haih…i tot tat i can be vry strong…no..not all. my mind keep thinking…i m so jealous…..he brought me to eat wit his fren b4….just like how he bring dis girl to here…i wanna cry….but my eyes r vry dry…my heart feel so pain…vry vry pain…..i love u, cheeky…u alr make urself as one part of my heart…now my heart seems like having a really bad decease……really pain….i have eaten the medicine since everyone told me not to put too much hope on u….i tot the medicine can really cure my illness…no way……dis decease seems like following be forever..pls let me noe tat dis girl just a normal fren…vry vry normal fren………pls………..

     last nite i get into bed vry early…..but suddenly in the mid nite, i suddenly awake..i wad thinking bout him….i feel so sad…last month, i remembered tat i ask him “do u have feel on me?”..the answer is yes….but since two weeks i din do anything, rite now, i m wondering does he still have the feel. i m so scared tat one day he doesn’t really have any feel on me anymore..
     i was thinking last two months ago, i sleep beside him…inside his arm…feel so warm…he hugged me tightly..kiss on my forehead…and even smell my hair……all is gone now…..i dunno when do i still have the chance to stay inside his arm again…
    do u know tat i miss u so much..i alwes wan to talk to u..kiss u…and even hugged u…tat day i saw u came to get leo..u make me think bout last time..u were outside my house with ur bike..waiting for me…when will this happen again..i wan to go on a ride with u…where we have our world…world of only two of us…i can hug u fr the back…
   do u still remember our klcc date? i can tell u tat i will nvr forget…its my happiest moment….u hugged me so tightly …u protected me ….i was so happy….i wonder when can i have the next date again…..i miss u..
sometime when i see u in sch, i was thinking “do u still remember all this thing tat happened btw us..?” i want u to remember as how deep i remember everything…honestly, i don wanna let go..i dun wan….i m looking for the hope…my fren ask me to wait u …i dunoo rite o wrong …..but if one day, u tell me tat u need some time to think..i will wait…but will u give any chance for me and u? pls………..let me noe……hope u will return…hope tat one day i m protected under ur arms again…… 

this week alr week 5…i feel like doin nth…feel so sad nowadays…just two months.many things happen to me…i m so regret and dissapointed…i regret to start evrything..regret to think too much from the start…i regret to make myself so complicated..i oso regret to let go the good things fr my own self…i feel so regret..meanwhile dispointment oso enter my heart…i get hurt many many times….one time, i let go, sec,let go, third…let go…but it seems like hurting me fr the starting point…nvr ever care bout my feelings….i m just a normal girl..if u think i dun deserve, den dun pull me in this ship….i dun belong to this kind of situation…i feel so disspointed….i nvr have this feeling b4..thanks for the happy moment and the nightmares….waiting for u makes me vry tired….looking hope fr u oso make me sad……wat i can say here is i m done….i have do my part….i have gave more than wat suppose to be….i m tired now…so this game, u play it vry well…u win, and i lose..thanks god..

i feel so sad………..i miss him……….tat day he open web cam….i think its just bcos i angry, then only he open the cam..but nvm, at least i can see him….i told him tat i m so sad and sick of him and edward…..its true from my heart…..i dunno y i deserve these….haih……….i hope friday will come vry soon……i wanna date with him…i wanna hug and being hugged…he likes to hug me……..cheeky, sumtimes i really feel like wanna cry when think bout our relationship….i am so ambiguous with what u think…i wanna ask, but i scare…so sad…truely sad…

ytd i lost my handbag inside the toilet…so acreless…luckily money and hp are at my hand at that time…hm……today i feel so lonely..sad and slightly dissapointed with cheeky…y do u wanna let me know that u likes me? u get me commit in this relationship..now u seems irresponsible for it…so sad….do u know, how much i miss u? do u know i think about u all the time? i wanna msg u but i scared u wont reply me………hm……….have u finish of thinking about everything? pls……….i feel really really down….i dunno whether rite o wrong i fall on u. jason is a truely nice guy ..he treat me very very well..have patient with me all the time..he cares about me all the time…but i gave up him….i think i really sucks…..stupid and crazy….nvr appreciate the good while alwes waiting for the bads one…how stupid…..sumtimes i really feel wanna give up cheeky….but i could not control my feeling….i m now deeper and deeper…..i wish to slap myself…let me awake…is cheeky the one?haih…no one can answer this….actually cheeky is a good guy….but it is just bcos eveything happen in a sudden and clashed up together….haih……now i m waiting for u..i hope no more dissapointment from u…i really dunno wat to do

ytd i broke with jason…actually it can be consider as a good news……i think fr day to day i ve falling in love with cheeky…..i miss him so much…but sumtimes he really hurt me…he cares his bros too much….y? so ytd i try to sms edward and apologize…i think once i didnt take this step….then it will not stop cheeky from feeling guilty….i feel vry happy when cheeky sms me…i dun know whether should i continue this kind of relationship with him o not…i really scared tat one day when i get into the deepest part…i get hurt by him……pls dun wake me up from this dream…he is not rich, not handsome..and a lot more…but he only have something i like about him….he is funny..and he is active..he can communicate well……….hehehe……….miss him so much…cy said tat i looks so sweet when i receive his msg…hehhehe..is uncontrolable….i really hope i can see him…..i wanna sit his motor…goin for a ride..and oso for a date…talking bout date…he told me tat he is collecting money just for the purpose goin out with me….happy to hear tat….at least his direction wont go so far away from me…i know he still cant forget his ex..nvm…i will wait for him…meanwhile i can enjoy single life….tackle by many guys…hhehehe……….i love it…cheeky, i start to love u since when u told me tat u have such feeling on me….now it is getting serious….pls dun hurt me…..although i looks like so tough from the outer appearance..but actually i m just like other girls…..i need love and support from guys………i hope u understand me…i hope u know…if u dun wanna cont this relationship..u let me slowly get out form this relationship………everyday i love u